Friday, August 7, 2009

Dear So and So... I'm Not A Fan

Dear So and So...

Dear Boss Man,

If I hear Poker Face by Lady Gaga one more time, I am going to punch someone in the face.

Respectfully, Mitzy


Dear Bowling Alley,

I just want to say thank you for always having plenty of clean new socks. I seem to have a memory problem and I can never remember to bring socks from home. I think I have 4 pairs of socks from you now, and I am sure I will be acquiring more since I can't remember shit. I can remember to bring my ball and my shoes, but my socks never seem to make it.

Extremely Grateful, Mitzy


Dear Little Sister,

Please leave your deadbeat boyfriend. He is now in jail for the second time since you have been with him. When you met him, he was just released from prison. He is on probation in not 1 but 2 counties. His father just got put in jail, again. His cousin just got shot by some random girl at a party and died. You are the only individual amongst the 8 people living in his aunt's trailer that actually has a job and your income is supporting all of these dead beats. You are better than this.

Love you, Sis


Dear Kathy Griffin,

You are one of the best comediennes ever. When I am down or super stressed out, you never cease to fail at making me laugh hysterically while watching your show on Bravo. Keep on with the dick jokes!

A Straight Fan, Mitzy

P.S. Please come to Atlanta or Savannah soon!


Dear Stomach,

I know you are hungry, but do you really have to be so loud? I promise, we will be leaving soon to grab some food.

Settle Down, Mitzy

1 comment:

Jess said...

LOL isn't Kathy like the funniest thing EVER?!? I watch her show alllllll the time. Cracks me the hell UP!