Friday, August 7, 2009

Dear So and So... I'm Not A Fan

Dear So and So...

Dear Boss Man,

If I hear Poker Face by Lady Gaga one more time, I am going to punch someone in the face.

Respectfully, Mitzy


Dear Bowling Alley,

I just want to say thank you for always having plenty of clean new socks. I seem to have a memory problem and I can never remember to bring socks from home. I think I have 4 pairs of socks from you now, and I am sure I will be acquiring more since I can't remember shit. I can remember to bring my ball and my shoes, but my socks never seem to make it.

Extremely Grateful, Mitzy


Dear Little Sister,

Please leave your deadbeat boyfriend. He is now in jail for the second time since you have been with him. When you met him, he was just released from prison. He is on probation in not 1 but 2 counties. His father just got put in jail, again. His cousin just got shot by some random girl at a party and died. You are the only individual amongst the 8 people living in his aunt's trailer that actually has a job and your income is supporting all of these dead beats. You are better than this.

Love you, Sis


Dear Kathy Griffin,

You are one of the best comediennes ever. When I am down or super stressed out, you never cease to fail at making me laugh hysterically while watching your show on Bravo. Keep on with the dick jokes!

A Straight Fan, Mitzy

P.S. Please come to Atlanta or Savannah soon!


Dear Stomach,

I know you are hungry, but do you really have to be so loud? I promise, we will be leaving soon to grab some food.

Settle Down, Mitzy

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A Sad Day

Last Thursday on my way home from my bowling league around 10:30 at night, I was driving down a back road and happened across a stray German Shepherd. He was pretty emaciated and had some bad mange. I ended up taking him home for the night and in the morning I planned on dropping him off at the humane society (that wouldn't kill him). As it turns out, the humane society doesn't take in stray animals, they only take owner surrendered pets. So luckily, my friend Bobby knows a girl who rescues dogs and also works at an animal hospital. I got word that she was willing to take him in, and I drove right over to drop him off. He stayed the weekend there, but after the vet ran some tests and x-rays it was determined that he was in really bad shape.

He was only about 2 years old, and had really bad hips. So bad that he would require a surgery that costs around $9,000 - $10,000. Not to mention that his ACL is torn, and the really bad mange that would require some intense medication. All of this coupled with the fact that he is only two makes it that much worse. Since he is so young, the pain he is in will only get worse as he gets older even with the surgery. In the end, the most humane thing to do is to put him to sleep.

For the condition he was in, he was still super sweet. He wasn't skittish at all, and well behaved. He didn't really like to be touched other than on his head because the mange was so bad which made it uncomfortable for him, but he loved the attention. He would've made the best pet.

So here is a shout out to the giant shepherd with a big heart.

You will be in good company with Larkin's mom, Vader, Syber Kitty, Dr. Binks, Mattaoe, Bayah and MJ.